Clichéd: The result of a bored fanfiction author
by redgrrl
Summary: Or just another reason to poke fun at the lack of originality in the Spirited Away section. R
1. Chapter 1

**Clichéd **

Summary: a hundred…and one Spirited Away clichés. Haku turns human…Haku comes to the human world…Sen Dies…random mysterious girl turns up and hypnotises Haku…you name it and you get it. R&R Sorry if I missed one. XD

I

10 years after the departure of Sen from the spirit world…

"And off I trench into The-Human-World!" Haku declares to his not-so-shocked members of the bath house.

As usual, the women stare and gasp at the news while the frog-like beings groan and snort. Haku had though his declaration would have more of an impact. Oh well, **Operation Chihiro** always comes first!

Of course…there would always have to be the issue with his name. What was it again? Oh of course, the name all fanfiction authors hate writing out because it is just so damn long.

Nigijhami (insert middle name) Kohaku. Haku repeated it several times under his breathe.

And of course, Yubaaba will just let him slip away straight under his nose. And being the over-passionate, warm being he is, of course gaining Chihiro's love is the first thing on his mind!

Even though during the whole of Miyazaki's film, he was simply a dragon/servant boy who barely displayed more than three types of emotions upon his cold face. Very emotional and passionate indeed.

Well enough drabbling, Haku thinks to himself, its time to enter the tunnel…

II 

Enter Haku's new girlfriend: a swift mirror image of the infamous Chihiro. She was all but just another human girl, who randomly and aimlessly trenched into the realms of the Spirited World and for some odd reason got a job at the bath house! Coincidence much?

Enter Kohaku who has a name that's too long to remember: dragon boy number one; a cold being who shows no emotions unless around a certain human girl…that is no longer Chihiro. He wants to free himself from the contract by Yubaaba but for some strange, alienated reason, he still can't go even though Chihiro gave him his full nae.

Enter Chihiro: brown haired girl whose was formerly stuck up and a stubborn mule. Somehow throughout stories like this, she will change into a loving child in an instant.

Will this become…a love triangle? And who will get Kohaku?

III

Chihiro felt a strange sensation in her body tingling, her very insides squirming. Oh, what's this! She's DEAD of course! More often than out in these drabbles/stories, she dies; free to go to the spirit world. So she begins with a single step that will lead her to Kohaku. Through the tunnel; into the bath house. Forget about all the hectic events and running through the town – she comes DIRECTLY to the bath house every time! Yubaaba welcomes her with open arms (yes, she's suddenly nice…maybe she's taken therapy?) and she meets Kohaku, who is no different from the last time Chihiro has seen him. They embrace…and time pasts by like lightning…

Chihiro hasn't forgotten her true name in nineteen years. _All is well_.

…

If you don't get where the last line came from…I strongly suggest you go read some Harry Potter XD

Finished: 24/8/07


	2. Chapter 2

**Clichéd **

Summary: a hundred…and one Spirited Away clichés. Haku turns human…Haku comes to the human world…Sen Dies…random mysterious girl turns up and hypnotises Haku…you name it and you get it. R&R Sorry if I missed one. XD

Set number two! Three drabbles…showing the world, just how clichéd fanfictions these days are… (Mine being no exception)

**IV is credited to ****synchronocity. **

IV

It has been five years since the saddening farewell of Sen from THE spirited world. Yes you heard me right. Time has passed by so quickly, Chihiro has somehow gone from a very, VERY food-loving family (to the extent they were turned into _pigs_) to an abusive one. Wonder how that happened? Oh well, things change I guess. As Chihiro received yet another slap on the face from her father, she felt a strange sudden longing to revisit the spirited world – something she _apparently _never thought of doing in ALL those years she was abused in!

Wow…the human mind is a strange thing.

_Ouch. _

Another punch to the stomach. Another slap to the face.

She made up her mind. Tomorrow shall be the day she returned to the welcome arms of Kohaku, her 'white dragon'.

She felt a tear running down her face as another attack was delivered. Blood…she could actually taste it this time with a bitter taste in her mouth. She heard her mother gasp and start weeping, cruel laughter from her father…

Heck, screw this world! – Chihiro thought, I'm going to go to the spirit world! Here I come!

V

Haku has a girlfriend Haku has a girlfriend that of course, became the chant of the bath house. I mean, considering how emotionless he was during the whole 96 minutes of the movie, it must've been an achievement.

Considering HALF the fics out there who ship Chihiro x Haku, Haku always either gets amnesia, another girlfriend or even gets married! And yet, this white dragon always ends up with Chihiro. He certainly is very loyal.

Meanwhile, while Haku is off amnesia-ing with a new girlfriend, Chihiro is silently suffering at the human world, unable to take the pain of being away from her true love. She grieves in silence, eventually coming to the decision she can

a. forget about him and move on

b. keep waiting for him to fulfil his promise

c. venture off to the spirit world once again.

Well it's no wonder authors out there seem to be revolving around the same ideas, when there are only three options.

"I'll be fine, mum, it's just…I've waited for him for so long…" she murmured, taking another tissue. _During those 96 minutes of the movie I never did cry this much have I? Apart from the scene with the onigiri/rice ball. _

"Chihiro, you have to know, if it doesn't come to you, then why don't you seek your own happiness?"

Suddenly inspired by her mother's words, she decided she would finally _claim_ what was rightfully hers.

VI 

Chihiro Ogino, 23 years old, and plagued with the_ deadliest_ problem one faces in a life time: true, destined love that was never meant to be. (Now how does that work?)

Again and again she waited, birthday after birthday…second after second…

She waited for him, for him to see her and fulfil his promise. Except, he never did. So what should Chihiro do but move on and marry another? A man she didn't love. She was due to marry him today, and yet, something in her heart told her, he just WASN'T right for her. In her long, white, beautiful and stunning wedding dress, she entered the chapel; to find her soon-to-be-husband staring at her with a slight smile on his face.

"You look beautiful," he murmured when Chihiro joined him.

The wedding went on without much issue but THEN (author did not want to spend much of her brain power in writing out a wedding that was never going to happen) _her_ white dragon appeared.

"I DISAGREE WITH THIS UNION!"

_Ads break for a very lengthy argument or shocking revelation between the groom and Chihiro. _

The newly reunited couple frolicked off in the sunset. The groom laid forgotten on the chapel floor.

…

AN: Oh yea, and in _no circumstances_ am I excluded from these clichés – I've committed a few of them… with **honest apologies** to fanfiction readers of course. XD

Next time I'll do the mental hospital cliché. XD Credits to QueenOfSparrabeth.


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